Jhanee

My name is Jhanee, I am an MA photography student and dancer from Dudley. My Grandparents are from Jamaica but I was born in West Bromwich, UK. I very much see myself as equally Black and British, even though I am often not treated as such; being told “but you’re not really English”. I was born in Britain but I feel as if I’ll never be accepted as British.

Racism is such a big part of the history of this country. There was racism when my Grandad moved to Britain in the 60’s, there was racism when I was growing up and there’s still racism now. I feel that people believe Britain isn’t racist as it’s covert, so it can go unnoticed if you’re not being subjected to it every day.

As a child, I was constantly made to feel negative about my skin, by people with the same skin colour as well as people with other skin colours. People would call me bin liner as an insult and make “jokes” about the darkness of my skin. Due to this I grew up hating my blackness and tried to distance myself from anything I associated with blackness. I didn’t wear certain clothes or listen to certain music or speak a certain way because I felt so negatively about my skin colour and the stereotypes often associated with it. It wasn’t until I was in my late teens that I began to shake that mentality and be proud of the colour of my skin and the heritage that comes with it.

When I was growing up I rarely saw representations of myself or people like me. A lot of people don’t understand that it’s important to have different types of people represented in the mainstream media because if you never see yourself reflected in positions of success it’s hard to feel like you can make something of yourself beyond the stereotypes projected. I feel that if I had more positive examples of Black people on TV it would’ve helped me to be proud of my skin, rather than ashamed. On TV Blackmen are usually portrayed as drug dealers or thugs and Black women as loud and aggressive. Whilst these things can be entertaining to watch, we have to be mindful that they perpetuate a stereotype of blackness and that some people can’t separate those stereotypes shown to the Black people they see in real life. I feel like the diversity in representation is slowly getting better but there is still a lot of push back from people who feel that equality for other people means oppression for them.

Being black in Britain I constantly feel like I must monitor myself, if I speak my mind I’m aggressive, if I use slang I’m uneducated, if I wear my hair a certain way I’m “ghetto” and ugly but if someone of another race does it it’s cool and trendy. I’m constantly treated like I’m guilty of something and must prove my innocence. If I dare speak out about my experiences I’m “pulling the race card” or I’ve got a “chip on my shoulder” and should be “go back home, if I’m not happy in the country.”

I feel that since Brexit the racism in Britain has gone from being covert to completely blatant. A lot of the language used in this country is still coded such as people saying they don’t like Meghan Markel “because there’s just something about her” I feel that the whole “Brexit” situation is quite ironic. A country that has a history of invading and colonising other lands and has the cheek to turn around and say “we don’t want immigrants here”.