Anne Marie

My name is Anne Marie and I currently work as a care giver and part time stylist and I run a blog. My family is from Jamaica. My dad was born in Jamaica and my mom was born in England and I was born in England. That makes meBlack British Caribbean.

My childhood was very interesting because my brothers and I were one of the only few Black kids in our entire school and I think that was probably the first time we were made to feel different in this country.

I remember in primary school my teacher had my mom bring me into school for a day so the kids could learn something new, and they had spoken to my mom to have me come in and show the kids my hair and how my mom does my hair and I think looking back now in hindsight when my mom was doing my hair and showing how she braids it and the different texture of my hair and what she uses in my hair. When I look back in hindsight the way that I felt,I was just cringing that everyone was looking at me in awe and asking all these questions and I didn’t like that because it really highlighted that I was different and there was nobody around me that was the same. Even though it was a cultural experience for them to learn it didn’t make me feel good. They weren’t racist, they weren’t making fun of me, it wasn’t that kind of energy but it 100% highlighted that was different through and through.

I think mainly, in the workplace that’s where I find that it is awkward for me to completely be myself. If I would like to bring my own food into work to heat up in the staff room, there’s a whole load of questions about what I’m heating up or the smell of it. Sometimes you can get that mircoaggression energy. And if you try and explain it in a way that is diplomatic it’s cool but if you stand up for yourself you’re seen to be the angry Black woman or the person that is super defensive.

When going into a different city or area for instances and there’s probably not a lot of minorities, it’s the stares. When shopping I’ve had security guards follow me around a shop; as if I’m going to steal or as if I can’t afford what I’m looking at. Constantly being asked, do you need help? Do you want assistance? Do you need a basket? Again, it’s a mircroaggression, it’s them profiling you and assuming you’re somebody of their stereotype.

I do feel as though racism is making a subtle comeback, which is really disheartening. I feel as if because of the things that are happening, more so in the states it’s almost trickling its way down to the UK. I don’t know if it’s because we are seeing a lot more of that stuff happening in the media and there’s an influence and it’s coming to head.